Bucket List -- Schmucket List

The “Bucket List” is a purely American concept.  Born of an overly busy population that does not have time to live their dreams, the “Bucket List” is life-style procrastination.  It is a line item on a future to-do list that we hope to complete before we die.  How stupid is that?

I’m 58 and I’m in reasonably good physical, mental and psychological condition…. BUT:

• I tire more easily
• I have slightly less energy & motivation to do those things I've "always wanted to do"
• I'm a little more breakable
• The red zone on my "Chicken Meter" is getting broader
• I have more hair in my ears

Given these normal aging factors and the physical limitations that come with age, I’m concerned that my bucket list items will take a back seat to the green Jell-O at the local cafeteria before I realize I can no longer achieve them.

All our lives we talk, dream, scheme and plan for that day when we will do those things that we have on our Bucket List.  My advice?  DO IT NOW! 

Donna and I recently took a long weekend to the Cayman Islands.  In past years we would go to Cancun, but the current political situation in Mexico doesn’t bode well for American tourists.  Very few of us have ‘being kidnapped and held for ransom” on our Bucket List.  While there are a multitude of folks that would pay the ransom for Donna, I suspect the list for me is much shorter.

 

Before we left, Donna started talking about swimming with the Dolphins.  While I know she enjoys these intelligent and entertaining creatures, she also likes chipmunks and we have never had a discussion about dodging traffic with the chipmunks.  The dolphin conversation evolved into something she has always wanted to do but rarely had the opportunity.

Being a slightly smarter than average husband, I seized the opportunity to make my bride happy AND score some “good husband points.”  I typically run low on “good husband points” and have never understood the expiration process on earned points.  This is the one loyalty program that, for 37 years of marriage, has been more confusing than airline frequent flyer programs. 

In advance of our trip, we found two facilities in the Caymans that provide dolphin rides.  So, on Saturday morning, we jumped in one of the local buses and headed for Dolphin Discovery.  The Dolphin Discovery brochure assured us that we were going to have a really good time.  It promoted the fact the Dolphins were treated in a superior manner, the working conditions were excellent and that these intelligent creatures would much prefer pushing or towing under-tanned and over-weight tourists through a concrete pool to freedom and fending for themselves in those bright blue Caribbean waters.  The clever folks at Dolphin Discovery make sure that spectators are seated at a distance from the activity which keeps them from getting any really good photographs.  However they have at least 20 photographers, each with $8,000 digital cameras to record the event “close up and personal.”  Surprisingly, they are willing to part with these photographs for a nominal fee when you leave.

The thing about experiencing something you’ve waited years for is that you are either going to be exceptionally happy or exceptionally disappointed, there’s not going to be a lot of middle ground.  The outcome of this little adventure was absolutely perfect:

Donna was towed and propelled by two Dolphins (I think their names were Larry and Moe) in the giant pool.  They actually pushed her clean out of the water on one pass.  I’m sure the dolphins are still talking about it, I know Donna is.

I earned significant “good husband” points, all of which probably expired before we left the park.  We purchased the big photo package to commemorate the event.  I’m not sure, but I think the Dolphins got copies to frame and hang on the wall of their den. 

Seeing the glee on Donna’s face was absolutely priceless.  My advice? Dump the bucket list and “seize the moment!