A couple of weeks ago our kids were visiting with our two
Grandchildren. Sophie, who is 2 ½ and
infant Andrew. We were eating dinner and
the subject of Snow White came up.
Daughter-in-law Michelle was telling us about reading Snow White to
Sophie. At the end of the story, when
the prince found Snow White in the woods and kissed her, instead of rejoicing
that Snow White had been awakened from her poison induced sleep, Sophie stated
“and she SLAPPED him!”
A discussion ensued about where Sophie had gotten the
idea of slapping the prince. I continued
to eat, as it was a lively and entertaining discussion. However, the conversation slowed and quieted
and I realized that everyone was looking at me.
No question that I might be suspect in the matter, it was the swift presumption of guilt that I found disturbing.
At this point, the conversation took an ugly turn as
various family members began to nod and agree that they should never have doubted
“where it came from” as long as I was in the same hemisphere as Sophie. I attempted to make my defense. Unfortunately,
I had to serve as my own attorney and was grossly under-represented (although
my son was secretly on my side, but needed a ride home).
Here is my thinking:
Sophie likes books.
She’s as likely to walk into a room with a pile of books for me to read
to her as she is to engage in any activity.
I like reading to Sophie.
There is nothing more enjoyable than having her in my lap reading. Sophie is way WAY above average in her
reading, comprehension and reasoning skills.
Frankly, she rivals many college educated adults I know.
As we’ve read together over the past couple of years
patterns have emerged. She likes to read
the same stories over and over…………
Since she’s read these stories so many times, we play a
game where I’ll be reading and suddenly stop in mid-sentence and Sophie will
fill in the blank (with a stunning 99% accuracy).
Sometimes when I’m reading, I simply change the
story. Sophie consistently responds to
this with an immediate challenge and correction. The fun starts when I ask her what she thinks
the character should do or how the story should continue.
All of these stories are packed with life lessons on a
variety of archaic subjects like respect, truth, anger, honesty, greed (well…… you
get the picture, stuff that nobody teaches anymore).
Now,
to my confession, defense and conviction.
Yeah, I’m the guy who suggested that Snow White should
slap the prince and I make no apology for it.
Let’s take a dispassionate view of the situation.
Snow White is in a poison induced coma through no fault
of her own. She was duped into eating the
poison apple by the evil queen who was acting out of pride, vanity and just
plain old meanness. Snow White was
simply being friendly to a kindly old woman.
In the version Sophie and I read, Snow White is asleep on
a canopy bed deep in the woods, surrounded by all of her little animal friends. Frankly, her animal friends, should have done something to protect her from the prince. This is the reason people
don’t use bunnies, fawns and bluebirds for protection. While they look cute standing around the
canopy bed, they are useless in a home invasion.
We don’t have time to cover the 7 miniature men who
carted her out to the woods and left her there asleep. I’m not pointing
fingers, but if Doc couldn’t wake her up, why would they let Dopey come up with her extended care plan. I’m pretty sure I
used to work for a couple of these guys.
Enter the Prince:
What exactly do we know about this guy?
Did he drop by Snow White’s house and ask her father for permission to
date her? He’s a prince, which means
he’s a politician. My observations of politicians
in matters of romance has been less than positive. So we have this politician roaming
around the woods on a white horse (probably stolen) with no explanation of what
he’s doing there. In addition, what’s
his relationship to the evil queen? Are
they related? Was he sent into the woods
to finish the job for the Woodsman? So
many unanswered questions.
The “Prince” discovers the “fairest in the land” asleep
on a canopy bed in the middle of the woods with no effective defense. (Don’t get ahead of me here.) He has a number of options to awaken
her. He could gently shake her by her
shoulders, simply speak to her, or dial 911 and get some qualified help. But, this dude decides to kiss her!
I’m aiming my defense here to men who have
daughters. Think about it, some strange
guy shows up on your front porch while your beautiful innocent daughter is
napping on the porch swing. He decides
he needs her to wake up so he lays a big kiss on her.
What are YOU
going to tell your daughter to do?
That’s what I thought.
I rest my case, now let’s talk about where to hide the
body.
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